I was talking to the daughter (in her early twenties) of Ling .... and I stole a glance of Ling and found that she was in a very critical condition.  She was too tired to speak and open her eyes.

After talking to the daughter of Ling, I felt 心酸 (literally, it means "sour in heart" and feeling like crying).

The daughter told me that her mother was waiting for her two aunts ....

"My two aunts are coming from Indonesia to see my mom.  I'll fetch them at the airport at noon.  My mom was married here," said the daughter (I was surprised to find her so calm). 

In the afternoon, I met the daughter again.

"My two aunts have come to see my mom and my mom was very happy.  I was happy too because it's mom's wish to see them.  I was glad to have fulfilled her wish (with changing voice)," stated the daughter slowly.

Then she told me how her mother had taken care of her and the family, and how, in return, she took care of her mom when she was sick (Ling had been sick for two years).  I was listening and I was deeply touched.  Ling was a very good mother and I thought her daughter had learnt a lot from her.

The daughter continued, "Actually we have walked through the periods of sorrow, anger and not letting go.  Now we only want her not to suffer any more and be at peace."

Ling passed away the following morning with her husband, two daughters and sisters (from Indonesia) by bedside.©

The love of a mother always shines 

                                                                        ........   even though sometime it seems implicit.

(When I started this blog, my intention was to write the patient story My First Post but I have been writing fewer and fewer.  One reason was that I did not want to go back to them because it was sad.  So don't bother to read them if you don't like sad stuff.)


Ling put out her hand, and simultaneously, I put out mine.  We shook hands.  I knew it was a gesture to say goodbye and (maybe) thanks too.  She was very ill already and spoke in a very soft voice that I could hardly hear.

When Ling was admitted, she had pains.

"I have pains all around here," Ling showed me the painful parts with her hand.

"Did the medication help?" I inquired.

"Not much.  I may have to undergo the surgery but as I am living alone, I don't know what to do.  Who will take care of me after the surgery?" said Ling with a sigh. 
(Her husband died a few years ago and her son and daughter are in China.)

So investigations (outrasound, CT Scan, etc.) were done and the condition of Ling was deteriorating.

After a few days.

Ling was still thinking about the surgery and she told me, "I am getting weaker.  I am afraid if I can take the surgery."

Then one day the doctor told her it might not be good for her to have the surgery.

"I may not do the surgery and I am going to see the oncology doctor tomorrow," Ling told me.  

I nodded and sat with her for a while.  She told me how they came and worked here .......

Next day, Ling told me, "The oncology doctor told me there's no need to do anything."

"Were you disappointed?" I asked.

"No.  If that's the case, I hope it'll be sooner.  There's no point to last longer."

These were her comments to her "anticipating death", no grievance, no bargaining but the only hope that it would not be too painful or suffering.

She then decided that she would go back to China.  The doctor did not recommend in view of her physical condition, but as it was her last wish, arrangements were made.  Her daughter and son came to accompany her and I was glad that she made it.

News came that she passed away!

And I remember how she shook my hand!©